Although I should be ecstatic that my son is now home after serving almost fifteen months in Iraq, I can’t begin to describe how parents, wives, siblings, friends, and others who continue to have loved ones overseas feel. I can anticipate the effects of PTSD because of my field. However, how can those without the pedagogy of psychology assist those returning home? Each day I prayed that no troops were hurt or killed (each day I continue to pray until our last troop comes home). To this day more than 4,000 military members have been killed and that doesn’t count those who are permanently wounded, both physically and mentally. If each military member has four family members in their inner circle (this is just an arbitrary number – mother, father, sibling, or child) that is 160,000 individuals who have been negatively affected. If each of those 160,000 has four more family members, the total becomes 640,000. Exponentially, it becomes mind-boggling. This number is conservative. I have no tacit knowledge of how many lives have been affected. I do however know that military psychologist (APA division 19) are doing everything they can to gather information about how to help our soldiers and families.

     Although I am a Psychologist, I have no barometer to measure how my son has been troubled by the loss of more than 144 members of his unit (The Big Red One, Infantry Division from Fort Riley, Kansas). His best friend Cpl. William D. O’Brien was killed in action just days before they were due back home. I have no barometer to measure how his psyche was affected when he was involved in the roadside bombing last year. This makes several times he has escaped death. I have no barometer to measure how he can overcome the constant gunfire, explosions, raids, and loss of life that will forever remain in his conscious and subconscious. I have no barometer to measure how he or others who have walked in those shoes will adjust. Some adjust well, some do not. The military is served well by sharing information and training Chaplains, Army Community Service, and leaders about transition strategies.

I do appreciate the saliency of sustainable focus. Sustainable focus is how you get through the good times and the bad times. Sustainable focus is how you can conceptualize and begin to understand the unexpected loss of a dear friend (RIP Gregory Cross, you were always a beacon of light  http://www.savannahmenu.net/info_pages.php?pages_id=553 ). Sustainable focus is how you can maneuver the nuances of life whether they are negative or positive. Sustainable focus is being able to see the smile on my son’s face and the smile on his wife’s face. You too can have sustainable focus because there is always something that is positive in this world.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy

     On a recent trip to a large retail store, I witnessed an exchange that perplexed me. The cashier was flustered at the customer, who was flustered over the higher prices of food. The exchange was comical if not down right sad. The cashier told the customer that she had a bachelors degree in math and a masters degree in chemistry and was working as a cashier. The customer told the cashier that the three gallons of milk wouldn’t last the week.It was my turn. I smiled at the cashier (for those who know me, know I smile alot) and she began her tirade about how she hated her job. She was literally turning red as she spoke to me about her loathing for what she did. I then asked, why are you here? To this she replied, “I woke up one morning and my husband was disabled. No one would hire me because I have no real life experience. I needed a job just to eat, not lose my home, and the health benefits were a must”. To this I replied, “is it healthy that you obviously dislike and resent what you are doing. Is your health better because you are here? Why not look at teaching on-line so you can stay home and care for your spouse. With a masters in chemistry, you can definitely teach. Best of all, if you still want to work here while you are searching for your job, you can. Who are you networking with who can help you out”?Reference
American Psychological Association. (1999). How expectancies shape experience. Washington, DC.

Response expectancy has the capability for one of those ah-ha moments. More aptly, it is called a paradigm (not twenty cents). In psychology there is a relevance to a theoretical concept called expectancy theory. How expectancies shape experience determines how one automatically (through overt behaviors) or involuntarily (through negative self talk) respond to situations. If you expect that only Walmart will hire you, then Walmart is what you will get. The vicissitudes of life require that you set your goals as high as possible. Never ever give up. And for pete’s sake, if you are not happy with your life, do something positive (POSITIVE) and not destructive, to change your expectancies.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy Halliday